dear Logan (16 weeks)
9:59:00 PM Jaclyn Armstrong 1 Comments
my little love,
today I am:
12:03:00 AM Jaclyn Armstrong 0 Comments
- Anticipating picking up our jogging stroller tomorrow morning! I've been running for a few weeks (months?) now and surviving with our current stroller, but anxiously awaiting the day I had a true jogging stroller so I could quite worrying about bouncing Logan's poor little head around. Tomorrow is the day!
- Wishing we could move back home! I just can't get over the intense need to live close to our families so that they can watch Logan grow and change everyday. I feel like they've already missed so much in the last 4 months.
- Dreaming about all of the projects on my to do list. I began Logan's nursery transformation today, and there are so many things I want to make for his new airplane (and car, and train) room. I also have plans to make more cloth wipes, burp cloths, and paci clips, and get my etsy shop up and running. Oh, and I have about a hundred diy projects I want to do around the house. The list never gets any smaller!
- Hoping I have an easy breezy 2 nights at work this week. My last shift reminded me of just how rough it gets as a floor nurse. I've had it too easy since I've been back.
- Missing my friends. Since having Logan I've come to realize just how hard it is to maintain friendships with those that aren't married and don't have kids... such different lifestyles. I've also found it incredibly hard to make plans with friends that do have kids because life is so busy! Something's got to change though because I refuse to be stuck in this house all summer without a life.
Now that Mother's Day is almost over, can I be completely honest? It kinda sucked. I still mean everything I wrote in my other post, and I really am blessed with this miracle I've been given, but it just wasn't the best of days.
10:10:00 PM Jaclyn Armstrong 0 Comments
It started off wonderfully. Logan napped on my chest while I snagged an extra hour of sleep this morning. And the card and flowers from my husband really were wonderful. But then the day went downhill.
Nick works on Sundays, so he was gone by 1pm and won't return home until 11pm. I was quickly faced with the reality that Mother's Day doesn't always equal a relaxing spa day, but is often just like any other day with interrupted showers and never ending laundry. And it wasn't one of Logan's best days. He's teething now, which meant a lot of crying, only napping for 30 min, needing to be constantly held, and nursing every. single. hour. It was exhausting. But it still wasn't terrible. I can think of a lot of things worse than extra snuggle time with my precious little man.
What really ruined the day was being 7 hrs away from my mom. I can't even remember the last time I saw her on Mother's Day. Instead of having lunch with her and spending time together, I was all alone. My friends were busy with their moms, and Nick was at work. Even my mother-in-law and everyone else you should spend the day with were all back in NC.
So although I appreciate the sentiment of the day and the reminder to be thankful for all the joys of motherhood, I'm ready for this day to end. Maybe next year I'll find myself at a Mother's Day brunch, or having an afternoon pedicure, or maybe even just a long, peaceful shower. I better not still be sitting here alone in Tennessee. Follow my blog with Bloglovin
my first Mother's Day
One year ago today, I was relaxing in a lounge chair with a beer in my hand, the sun beating down on my arms, and the Thunderbirds flying over my head. We were at the air show in Smyrna, enjoying the day as a distraction from Mother's Day and our infertility struggles. I was armed with a positive spirit, a new camera lens, and a supportive husband at my side. It was nothing short of a perfect day.
11:46:00 AM Jaclyn Armstrong 1 Comments
Little did I know, that was actually my first Mother's Day. I likely conceived Logan less than a week before according to my due date. I had absolutely no symptoms, and at this point didn't believe we would ever have children naturally without medical intervention. But I wonder now if that little fertilized egg didn't have something to do with my positive attitude that day, and the lack of crying my eyes out on Mother's Day for the first time in 3 years (I'm sure the sun, beer, and planes helped too).
I would have never imagined that a year later I would be waking up to a bouquet of flowers, a beautifully written card from my husband, and my entire heart made into the most precious little miracle in my arms. It is more that I ever thought it could be. I've wanted children for as long as I can remember, but I really had no idea the way it would transform me and the way I look at the world. I could have never predicted the overwhelming love I have for that little boy, and the admiration I would have for my husband as his father. I never knew life could be so perfect and so full of happiness and love. It is absolutely magical.
My heart is heavy for those still waiting for their little miracles. Some have struggled for so much longer than I did, and I can't imagine continuing to face the world with such a brave face on such a heart-wrenching day. I've also been thinking a lot about all of the single parents in this world, and the lack of appreciation they likely feel on this day. I am truly blessed for all that I have, and I'm reminded more today to be thankful for what life has given me.
The last 3 months have also taught me just how little I understood about the sacrifices my own mother made for her family, and the love she has for us. I can appreciate all she has done so much more now. She is compassionate, self-sacrificing, and supportive. There has never been a day I questioned her love for me. She has always been there for every tear and every celebration. I share every detail of my life with her, and she still answers my phone calls every day. She's given up everything for me and my sister, and now my nieces. I will never be able to thank her enough. She is truly amazing.
I wish my Granny was still here, so that she could spend one more day knowing how much she is loved and appreciated. I can't imagine what it must be like for my mom or her siblings on this day. She was an incredible woman, and I only wish we could have had more time to get to know one another and become closer than we ever were.
To all of the mothers, single parents, grandmothers, and anyone else that has loved a child with all of their heart, Happy Mother's Day. Motherhood is the single most wonderful gift I have ever received in life. I'm never been more proud or grateful for all that I have.
dear Logan (14 weeks)
My precious angel,
8:58:00 PM Jaclyn Armstrong 0 Comments
another one for the baby book
8:56:00 PM Jaclyn Armstrong 0 Comments
oh, Johnson's, you get me every time.
1:02:00 PM Jaclyn Armstrong 2 Comments
(almost?) a milestone!
Caution: proud parent documenting this for the baby book... please don't bore yourself!
8:47:00 PM Jaclyn Armstrong 0 Comments
So today while daddy was busy cooking dinner (chicken pot pie!) and Logan and I were playing, something amazing happened. (Amazing to me, maybe not to you.) I'm impressed everyday by Logan's physical abilities, because although I am biased he really is ahead of the game compared to his best buddies the same age. He has been standing and had great head control from day 1, and is nearly sitting and standing on his own these days. He's never happy lying down and is constantly on the move. Every time we get him from his crib he has wiggled his way into a corner, usually perpendicular from where he was left. He has friends only a few days older/younger than him, and they seem to be much more laid back and less interested in moving and jumping about.
While we were playing this evening I was talking to Logan about walking at 7 months, which has become a joke in our house since the day we met an 8 month old at the pediatrician's office who was walking independently (as usual my competitive nature kicked in). So I've always told Logan that if she could walk at 8 months, he would have to walk at 7 months. I was talking about this, and began to wonder out loud what age babies begin to say their first word. Nick guessed 4-5 months, so I told Logan he better step up his game because he would have to talk sooner than average. I asked him what he wanted his first word to be, and that I didn't really care what it was. We talked about "mama" and "dada", and "light", and then I suggested "hey" because it was a little easier since he was going to talk at such a young age. So I said "say hey", and I swear to you he immediately said "hey" back with the biggest smile on his face. Thinking it was just a coincidence, since his cooing often sounds like "hey", I said it again and he responded back. Three times in a row I said "hey", he repeated it, and I sat in awe at my growing little boy.
I know what you're thinking... "hey" is not the most complicated of words. And of course he had no idea what he was saying. But the fact that he mimicked my word impressed me. And I have a witness... even though he's probably a little biased too. By no means do I think this was Logan's first word, but it was still an exciting moment. I'm writing out the details because I finally heard Logan's first true laugh last week, and Nick and I have both already forgotten what we did to bring it on and when exactly it happened. And these things are important :)
I love watching my little love grow and learn new things each day, but it is always so bittersweet. I find myself often smiling and crying at the same time, because although we have so much to look forward to I am terrified of losing this little one that fits perfectly in my arms. I'm afraid of the day he doesn't want to snuggle with mommy. I can't imagine him running around with his friends, or waving goodbye on his first day of school. Or even worse, the day he grows up and moves away to be on his own. I think back to all of those times during pregnancy I was told to cherish every moment because they grow up so fast. Until you've done it, you really have no idea.
Things have been tough lately. And by things I mean money. And bills.
8:55:00 PM Jaclyn Armstrong 0 Comments
I worked so hard for 2 years and saved all of my PTO for maternity leave, and was blessed with 10 weeks of 100% paid leave when Logan was born. But while I was out Nick made a career change that not only decreased his pay, but also made it near impossible for me to return to work. Logan is 3 months old, and I've worked one shift. Unfortunately we are a 2 income family out of necessity.
Just when we were about to make some drastic changes that would have long-term effects on our finances, happiness, and marriage, a perfect opportunity arose. The chance to work a few shifts this weekend around Nick's work and drill schedules (ANOTHER drill weekend!). I will be headed to work tonight after Nick returns home and the rest of the world is sound asleep, and I will race home before the sun comes up to take over mama duties while Nick travels for a long Army day. I will take care of my little man all day, then head back to work for 11 hrs tomorrow night. And just when I think I can't go any longer without sleep, I will work a full 12-hr shift Sunday night. This is my chance to prove I can do anything for our family, and our first true test of parenting. We've survived worse.
I'm looking forward to this weekend as a challenge. I'm ready to prove that I can do it all when times get tough. I refuse to sit back and watch everything we've worked so hard for slip through my fingers. At the end of the day I will do anything for Logan. He is worth a lifetime without sleep. And despite the challenges he has brought to our family, I wouldn't change it for the world.
dear Logan (3 months)
5:26:00 PM Jaclyn Armstrong 0 Comments
My sweet love,
Time is flying by. It seems like just yesterday I was telling strangers that you were 6 weeks old, but in the blink of an eye you have reached 3 months. You learn new skills and seem to grow inches overnight, and I can't keep up. Everything you do amazes me.
We spent the last week in NC visiting family (your uncle Jay got married!). By the time we returned home to TN, you had grown from a sweet little baby to an active, strong little man. You can pull yourself up to a sitting position without any head lag, and when you're feeling extra strong (or extra mad!) you manage to stand straight up from a lying position with just a little assistance. We bought a jumperoo while we were in Lewisville, and you love it. You're still working on the jumping part and become frustrated after 15-20 minutes because your legs and arms are just a little too short to do everything you want.
You were quite the social butterfly as you met hundreds of new family and friends in NC. And although the rehearsal dinner and wedding were both past your bedtime, you were a sweet little angel in the arms of your grandparents and great aunts & uncles. I was so proud!
Our lives have gotten so much easier in the last few weeks, as you've settled into a nice routine and fall asleep easily when I lay you down. You love to sleep on your belly, and much to my surprise I have gotten over my fears and let you. As you fall asleep you love to scratch your tiny little fingers over whatever you can reach... most often my shirt, face, or the sheets in your crib. You love to explore new surfaces. And when you don't want to fall asleep, you roll from your belly to back and let me know it!
Sometimes you seem so little to me, but mostly I've noticed just how much you're growing every day. You weighed in at 12.2 lbs last night. You're still tall and skinny (and weigh much less than your friends your age!). I love that you still fit perfectly in my arms. We sneak naps together in the early morning, and you always seem happiest snuggled between your father and I.
You are the most incredible journey, and I wouldn't change it for the world.
hugs & kisses,
- ► 2013 (38)
- happy daddy day!
- dear Logan (16 weeks)
- 52 weeks of Logan: week 14
- my first Mother's Day
- 52 weeks of Logan: week 13
- dear Logan (14 weeks)
- another one for the baby book
- oh, Johnson's, you get me every time.
- 3 months
- best buddies
- (almost?) a milestone!
- Looking up.
- 52 weeks of Logan: week 12
- 52 weeks of Logan: week 11
- watch me grow! (3 months)
- dear Logan (3 months)
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