honeysuckle hill.
Hot apple cider, pumpkins, corn mazes, petting zoos, and the two cutest kids you've ever seen.
It just doesn't get any better.
Showing posts with label 2under2. Show all posts
working mama: the night before
It's 11:00pm. I'll be dropping the kids off at daycare at 7:00am. I am a sobbing mess. I am not handling it well AT ALL.I know there are plenty of working moms out there, but there are also a ton of stay-at-home moms. And I am so jealous of them right now. It may be the hardest job in the world, but it is the only job I want.
Adaleigh is so little. So innocent and new, with that perfect new baby scent and smooth, glowing skin. We've barely even met. I don't feel like we've had the time together that we need... the time to bond and get to know each other. She's only been here for 8 weeks.
Somehow I'm supposed to hand her off to someone else in the morning and turn my back. Someone that has no idea she already has a ticklish spot on her side, or loves to hear you sing her name. Someone that hasn't walked miles in circles around the house, just to get her to fall asleep. Someone that isn't planning for her first ballet recital, her first heartbreak, and the day she gets married. Someone that hasn't even met her yet.
I love hanging my walls with tiny little handprints and scribbles, and I love watching Logan light up at the sight of his friends in the morning, but I'm tired of sharing him. I don't want the tired, cranky Logan that I get as I scramble to make dinner after a long day of work. I want the happy, playful Logan just after a nap. I want surprise hugs and kisses throughout the day, and long walks around the neighborhood. I don't want a story at bedtime, I want a shelf of books throughout the day. I want the little baby I dropped off at daycare last year back in my life. I want all of the smiles and tears that I've missed for so long.
Those babies are my world. I will miss so much... so much that I will never get back. They will grow and change, all without me watching. They will never know the tears and heartache I felt every day I turned and said goodbye.
working mama: just breathe
Maternity leave is coming to an end far too quickly. I look at the untouched skin and innocent eyes of this precious little girl, and I can't imagine that she's ready to enter the world away from her mama. Tomorrow I will leave her to the care of another, hoping and praying she makes it through the day unfazed. I want her to miss me, but learn to survive without me. I want her to find the balance between relying on others for her basic needs, but still preferring mama any chance she gets. I hope she finds comfort and peace in her new surroundings, with her brother just a few steps down the hall. I pray that she feels loved, not abandoned. I hope that the days go by quickly, and the evenings at home together slow down to enjoy. I hope every minute I get at home with my little ones seems to last forever. Those moments are limited now, but I will cherish every one.
Even at 20 months, I don't find it easy to leave Logan every day. I worry that he doesn't understand why he's not at home with us every day. I'm scared that there are moments during the day that take him by surprise, and he doesn't have mommy and daddy for comfort. My heart is always with him, and I hope he feels the love we send with him every day.
Now we will leave two little ones, two precious souls, two innocent babies. I don't know that I will ever find peace with the guilt in my heart, but I try to remember that I am doing what I have to do. The last few weeks have been wonderful, and I will cherish them forever.
fun at the zoo!
Some days I feel like I'm drowning with two little ones, and other days I feel like a rockstar. Like the day that I successfully made it through the zoo with a single stroller, an adventurous 19 month old, and a hot, sweaty 5 week old against my chest.I should admit that I did have a little help in the form of two dear friends, but they each had a toddler with them as well. We were definitely outnumbered. We haven't yet invested in a double stroller, so Logan in the BOB and Adaleigh in a carrier was the only option I had. She's usually strapped to me when we're out and about, but on long adventures I like to be able to breathe for a few minutes without constantly sharing body heat. Today I didn't have that option.
So with the stroller, Ergo, and a weeks worth of luggage, I cautiously entered the zoo with the little ones in tow. To say I was anxious (and may have started packing the night before) would be an understatement.
But, you know what? We all survived. We ran through the zoo for nearly three hours, ate a picnic lunch, nursed, rode a train... and I only lost Logan once (and only for a second!). I actually left the zoo with both kids I came with. They were angels.
Logan was in an exceptionally good mood, which always helps. He only lasted in the stroller for the first ten minutes, and spent the rest of the day leading the pack on foot with me chasing behind.
We visited the train, and I gladly treated Logan to his first train ride. He was so excited at the suggestion, but as soon as he first spotted the train rounding the corner he burst into tears. A few hugs and kisses later, and he was happy to board the train with his buddies and my two friends. I was so proud of him! Not only did he overcome his fear, but he did it without holding my hand or even having me nearby. He is awesome.
The day was exhausting, but so much fun. I was proud of Logan, proud of Adaleigh, and proud of myself. This life really is everything I dreamed of. Crazy enough to have me rethink baby #3 (and #4) at times, but never to regret where we are now. So many more adventures await us!
2 under 2: 3 weeks down
Finally... An update!Life with 2 under 2 is crazy in the best of ways. It is challenging at times, but so amazing. This is the life I always dreamed of, and I couldn't feel more blessed or grateful for it all.
Logan has continued to go to daycare most days. He doesn't go everyday and I try to pick him up by early afternoon, but we decided it was best to keep him enrolled while I was on maternity leave. We wanted to keep him in a routine while the rest of his world was turned upside down, and he loves school! The socialization has helped his development so much. I'm also not supposed to lift him for the next few weeks, and I can really feel the difference on days that I cheat.
Yesterday I survived my first outing alone with the kids. I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to take an impromptu shopping trip to TJMaxx after picking Logan up from daycare. If I had really thought about it, I would have never gone. But instead of thinking I just did it, and the kids were angels! Logan was a little cranky at the end, but we survived without any major meltdowns. I walked out of there with my head held high. I don't think I could have been more proud if I had just won an Olympic medal.
Logan is really embracing his role as the big brother. He loves nothing more than to kiss all over his little sister. It must be the first thing he does every morning, and the last thing before laying his head down at night. He gets so worried if she cries, and doesn't like for her to be left alone anywhere. I expect things to change when she becomes a little more active and mobile (and capable of "borrowing" his toys), but for now everything is perfect.
Logan has also started warming back up to me since bringing Adaleigh home. He loves to steal a little snuggle time on my lap any chance he gets, and sits as close as possible with his protective little hand on my leg when my lap is already occupied. I've stolen back bath time duty, although Daddy still reads the bed time stories. Everything is falling into place.
I can't quite explain how perfect our family of 4 feels. Life was wonderful with Logan, but I feel like there was always a place waiting for Adaleigh to join us. It's as if I've been waiting my whole life for this exact moment. Everything smells a little sweeter when these two precious babies are around. It usually sounds a little louder, but definitely smells sweeter.
2 under 2: sibling love
I wish I could say it was love at first sight. After all the tender moments between Logan and Adaleigh when she was still safely tucked in my belly, I wish I could say that from the moment Logan laid eyes on her he became the protective, loving big brother. I wish I could say he was happy to see her.
When Logan first entered the hospital room the afternoon that Adaleigh was born, he didn't know what to think. He didn't know where Mommy had been all day, why she was now swollen and lying in a new bed surrounded by tubes and cords, and who in the world was hiding under her gown and taking his place lying on my chest. He was very apprehensive to do anything more than give me a quick kiss, and was definitely not happy sitting next to me and his new little sister. He showed no interest in her, and wasn't sure how he felt about his Mommy anymore.
Luckily on Day 2, he started to warm up a little to the idea. He was finally interested in seeing who this new little baby was, and touching her hair and arms to see if she was real. We encouraged him to love her and kiss her, and to our surprise he started snuggling her tiny little body in Daddy's arms and didn't want to stop. She wasn't that bad after all.
Every day he shows a little more interest and love for his little sister, and is growing more protective of her. As soon as he gets up in the morning he runs to find her in the bassinet and give her a nice pat on the arm or leg. He doesn't like for her to be left unattended, and wants us holding her constantly. He worries if he can't find her, and brings her toys and pacis whenever she's around. Just yesterday I watched as he moved his activity table across the room, so he could sit and play next to the pack and play where Adaleigh was sleeping.
I so grateful he's adjusting as well as he is. Even though I am head over heels in love with our new addition, I hate that we've turned his world upside down. I will always feel guilty for stealing the attention away from him when he was still so young, but I hope that giving him a playmate and new best friend more than makes up for it. I know it will take some time for him (and all of us) to fully adjust, but I look forward to the challenges of the ride we're on. This is exactly the life I've dreamed of.
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