lately.Where do I even begin? It's been almost a month since my last post, and so much has changed.
Several weeks ago Nick was offered a position back in the world of contract security management (his specialty). It meant better, more flexible hours that would have allowed me to work more as needed, and spend more time as a family. His previous job did not allow us to spend any days at home together, and we found ourselves running our home like a business. I was not happy. This new position seemed to be the answer to our problems, and also offered a raise from Nick's current income. It was the perfect opportunity at the perfect time.
He accepted the offer, gave his 2 week notice to his current employer, and we made plans for the future. The morning before he was to start his new job, the manager unexpectedly called to resend the offer. To say we were shocked and angry would be an understatement.
Overnight I found myself working 50-60 hours a week (from 2 shifts/24 hrs per week). I went from being a semi-stay at home mom to a full-time working woman. I have nothing against those that choose to work outside of the home 40+ hours a week with small children, but it has never been what I wanted. I am grateful to have a job that allows me to work as needed, and also pays extremely well for what I do (PRN premium pay!), but the change has turned my world upside-down.
I have struggled with so many things in the last few weeks.... I am trying to adjust to seeing Logan less and less, losing my freedom and time with friends, battling low milk supply issues as a result of full-time pumping 5 days a week... the list goes on and on. My emotions have been all over the place, and unfortunately my marriage has suffered the most during this transition. Things are slowly on the mend as I accept this new lifestyle and learn to balance work and family, but it has been the hardest thing I've ever done.
More to come...