I have officially made it to 39 weeks (these pictures were taken at 38 weeks), and I can't say that I'm thrilled about it. After working long hours on my feet for so long I was sure I would deliver early, and as each day goes by it becomes less and less likely.
I am filled with so many emotions right now, but mostly excitement and anxiety about what is to come. For a type A, obsessive-compulsive planner, there is nothing worse than having no idea and no control over when and how labor will begin. I'm so anxious to get it over with, and nervous that I will not end up with the birth experience I'm hoping for. I am also terrified of having to be induced, but as of now that is still another 3 weeks away. I am also obviously so excited for Logan to be here... I can spend hours imagining holding him in my arms and kissing the sweet little face of his daddy.
So much of our lives is about to change, and I am overwhelmed with impatience for what is to come. The clock seems to move a little slower each day, and at times it feels like the world stops for hours. I fluctuate between feeling like there is nothing more I can do to prepare for Logan's arrival, to feeling like I am no where near being ready for him to come home. So I clean a little more, reorganize one more time, and continue waiting, and waiting... and waiting.
I try so hard to cherish the time we have left, just Logan and I, with him snuggled in the comfort of my belly and no cares or worries in the world. He is truly a miracle, and despite my impatience and discomfort I can't imagine a greater feeling in the world.
The last few weeks with Logan have been nothing short of incredible. I wish more than anything I could stop time for just a little while, just long enough to cherish every moment we have together before I am forced to share him with the world. Recently I find myself constantly distracted by him, unable to focus on anything other than every movement and feeling of him safe inside of me. He is a part of me now, a part of me that I will never let go of for as long as I live. We are bonded in a way I have never felt before, and my love for him is truly amazing and life changing.
Nick and I treated ourselves to another elective 3D ultrasound yesterday to sneak a peek at our handsome little bundle. Of course he was stubborn and refused to move his hands from his face more than a few seconds at a time, but watching him move around in live time was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He slept through most of it, but was sure to show off a little thumb sucking and yawning before we left. He is absolutely adorable (but I'm a little bias). We're still arguing over whose nose he has... I guess time will tell. Here are a few of my favorite pictures:
I also had another prenatal appointment this week, and all is well so far! Both Logan and I are happy and healthy. All of my blood work looks great, which was my biggest concern so far.
We will be traveling back home to NC for Thanksgiving in a few short days, and I couldn't be more excited. Our days will be busy with the people that we love most, stuffing our faces and celebrating my favorite of all holidays. We will return just in time for my 28th birthday... my golden year! No big plans this year, but I always enjoy a day to relax and celebrate. This time of year always flies by, which scares me a little knowing that Logan will be here as soon as the chaos of the holidays is over. I can't wait to meet our little miracle, but I'll also feel a little better about it once we have the nursery complete and everything around the house ready for his arrival.
Safe and happy travels to all! Happy Thanksgiving!
The last week of my first trimester. A week I have looked forward to for a long, long time. I have yet to get my energy back, and nausea still rears its ugly head far too often, but I think my normal appetite may be returning. I’m also not starving all day every day, which was becoming quite the inconvenience. Last night as I lay in bed I realized I hadn’t eaten since my lunch at Panera, but when I ventured to the kitchen I had no desire for a peanut butter sandwich, pudding, american cheese and crackers, or any of the other childhood cravings I’d been living off of for so long. I wanted a meal. Maybe even a nice filet mignon (I have gotten sick at even the mention of steak for 2 months now!). Of course I was forced to go to bed hungry as my kitchen offered none of these options, but I went to bed with a sigh of relief that I might actually get to eat like a normal, healthy adult again. I even enjoyed a salad for lunch yesterday… another meal that has repulsed me for quite some time now. I just hope this isn’t a tease, like the week I spent nausea-free that led me to believe the morning sickness was over. I promise you, it only got worse.
12 weeks, 28 to go. Now if I can just get my energy back so I can enjoy each and every one of them…
11 weeks pregnant. I’m starting to feel like this pregnancy is already flying by. There are so many feelings and emotions swirling through my head that I find it hard to put into words. This time in my life is like no other… the worries, the fear, the joy, the anticipation, the constant daydreaming about what life might be like in 6 short months. Everything will change. No matter how hard I try, the future is unimaginable.
There are so many things in life that are so uncertain now… joining the Army, obtaining an advanced nursing degree, living the carefree city-life I’ve dreamed of without responsibility… but as soon as I imagine holding our child in my arms it all makes sense. When I’m reminded of what we’ve been blessed with, I find myself without regret, without fear, without wondering what would life have been like had nothing changed. I find myself anxious about the future, but anxious in the most joyful way I’ve ever known. There really is no greater gift in life.
I made it to 6 weeks on Saturday…. in some ways I feel like it’s been months since I found out and that time is slowly creeping along, and other times I feel like this pregnancy is going to fly by.
Not much has changed in the last two weeks. I still have moments of shock that this is really happening, but for the most part it has become such a big focus in our lives. And between the cramping, nausea, heartburn, sore boobs, backaches, and whining, I’m starting to feel pregnant. I’ve also lost the ability to suck my stomach in, but I’m actually looking forward to watching this bump grow in the coming months.
It’s also been exactly 14 days since my last cigarette, and 15 days since my last cup of coffee and glass of whiskey. I can’t say I haven’t missed them, but it has been so much easier than I ever imagined. I’ve always struggled with quitting smoking and wasn’t sure how I would handle it. The day after I found out I wore the lowest milligram nicotine patch available, but since then have quit cold turkey. There is no greater motivation to quit than being blessed with a miracle you never thought possible. I am amazed at how easy it has been, and I must admit I’m pretty freaking proud of myself.
In 2 short days we will be on our way to NC to share the news with our families! I absolutely cannot wait. It has been such a challenge to keep this news to ourselves. It has now been weeks since I’ve talked to my mom (we usually talk on the phone daily), because I know there is absolutely no way I could keep my mouth shut. I almost feel guilty for not telling her sooner, because she was naturally the first person I wanted to tell, but it was so important to me to tell her in person. I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces!
Happy Memorial Day to everyone! Please keep the soldiers and their families in your prayers today, especially those that have sacrificed everything for this country. I am blessed that this Memorial Day will be the first in 3 years that my husband is home safe, rather than fighting for our freedom across the world. My heart goes to all of those who are less fortunate.
