Carolina on my mind
I’ve written about this so much on my life blog (everydaywaiting.tumblr.com), but with our little one on the way it has become more relevant than ever.
Despite the years we spend in TN, the friendships and relationships that we cherish, and no matter how deep our roots here spread, my heart and soul will always be in North Carolina. I crave the closeness of our families, and I long to create our own family’s memories surrounded by the comfort and love of home. My heart aches at the thought of our little one being raised hours from grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. I grew up hours away from my own extended family, and to this day I lack the bond and closeness most people share with those they love. I can’t imagine our child growing up feeling like an outsider, or feeling as though their own flesh and blood are nothing more than strangers.
I also want to move home for selfish reasons. There is no time in my life I will ever need my mother like those first few weeks at home with a newborn. Of course I know she will travel and stay with us if I asked her to, but I’d much rather be try to do things on my own knowing she is only a phone call and short drive away. It would be wonderful to never worry about the financial and emotional burden of sending our child to daycare, or leaving our little one with a stranger so we can enjoy a rare date night alone.
Nick is more than supportive of moving back to NC, and for years has longed to move back home just as I have. Unfortunately we have responsibilities, and with the economy as it has been moving anywhere is a lot easier said than done. We’ve considered packing our bags and crossing our fingers that everything works out, but reality sets in and we just can’t afford the risks. We own 2 houses here in TN, and although we could temporarily move in with family it has been incredibly tough to find any reasonable job for Nick to make the move possible.
I wish life was simpler. For now I will cross my fingers (good vibes are welcome!) and continue hoping and wishing that everything works out for us. I know we’re meant to be in NC, I’ve just yet to discover when and where in NC life will take us.