a little me time.Today was a first for me.
I worked last night and Nick had errands to run today in preparation for training in the weeks to come. Normally in this situation I am forced to stay up between shifts and sacrifice sleep to take care of Logan. But today, I was exhausted. I asked him if there was anyway he could take Logan with him, and when he said yes I changed and dressed Logan and crawled into my bed to get some much needed rest.
When I woke in the afternoon, they were still gone. My initial reaction was separation anxiety, as I always see Logan as soon as I wake up. But after starting a load of laundry and a pot of coffee, I found myself hoping they would take just a little longer to return. Just long enough to drink a cup of coffee in peace and still see my boys before I left for work again.
I was surprised at how much I wanted some alone time. I felt a little guilty... until I realized that I am never alone. Sure, I've been away from Logan plenty of times for work, but never have I ever been at home, by myself, in the last 8 months.
On Thursday morning Nick will leave for Mississippi again for 2 and a half weeks, and it will just be me (and my amazing Mom for a week or so) juggling Logan, work, and keeping the house running. It's far from impossible, but it's definitely more work than when I can rely on Nick as a stay at home dad.
So instead of missing my boys, I found myself grateful for the few minutes I had alone. Just me, my coffee, and my thoughts. No need for conversation, changing diapers, or making bottles. I could have taken the opportunity to clean, but instead I chose to sit and relax. It felt great. A little me time.
And 15 minutes later they returned.