I wish I could say that I only have joyous, happy thoughts about this pregnancy, but that would be a lie. Despite wanting a child for as long as I can remember and trying for so long, I still find myself wondering if this is really what I want.
Sometimes I feel this way when standing in line behind a screaming toddler, or while shopping for my ever-growing chest and waist, or hearing about all the fun, carefree things my single, not-yet-tied-down friends are doing.
I must admit, at times I have the “my life is over” thought creep into my head. But then there are times that I see that young family out living life to the fullest, and I find myself anxious for that time to come for us when all of the superficial and vain worries that have consumed my life are gone, and the focus is finally back on family- our family.
Despite all of these mixed emotions, I wouldn’t change it for the world.