on-call.

8:24:00 PM Unknown 1 Comments

I'm on-call for work tonight, which is bad for our bank account but good for the blog. I may not write the most eloquent or exciting of posts, but I have missed it so very much.

July was b.u.s.y.  It started off with a visit from Mom, Dad, and the girls, a short weekend trip to Chattanooga, and ended with a wonderful (almost) 4 days spent at home in NC visiting family. As much as I loved our trip as the perfect way to end a perfect July, it was the first time Nick and I agreed that we are no longer waiting for the day to move back to Winston-Salem. We LOVE Nashville. In 7 years it has become our home, the place we officially started our lives together, and where we began our family. As great as it would be to live a short drive from our families, we're just not ready to give up everything we have created here. It's a bittersweet ending to a decade of wishing and waiting for a chance to bring us back to our beloved state. (Don't worry Mom, we promise to visit often :)

Between weekend getaways and adventures, I have continued working 4 nights a week to support our family. I'm not always thrilled to go to work (especially on night 3), but it's a small sacrifice to give us such a wonderful life. We always have 3 day weekends, and it was so easy to make an impulsive trip home for a long weekend.

During the wee hours of the morning, when my patients are sleeping and my eyes begin to feel heavy, I often find myself daydreaming about all of the things I have wanted to do with my life. Of course I realize that most are not practical and may never happen, but a girl can dream. I think about what it would be like to be prepping and decorating my 2nd grade classroom for the imminent school year, or spending my weekends shuffling around town capturing the memories of weddings, first birthdays, and soccer games. I think about the look in Nick's eyes as he watches the restaurant he has created from nothing, or the sweat dripping from his head as he steps out of his plane on a hot Saturday afternoon. I dream of sipping coffee while watching others browse my gallery of paintings, or the little booth I've set up at a local craft fair.

Sometimes I think that I need to focus on reality and the life we have, but other times I fear that I will wake up one day and realize it is too late to follow any of the paths I have dreamed of.  I'm trying to figure out how to balance family, hobbies, and dreams. I'm researching local art classes and mapping out tentative plans.

This post has been all over the place, but so is my mind right now. I'm so grateful for everything I have, but I can't help but wonder what could be. For now, I leave you with pictures of our sweet baby boy (6 months tomorrow!)