dear Logan (2 weeks)

9:51:00 AM Jaclyn Armstrong 0 Comments

Dear Logan,
We've survived our first week together, just the two of us. Daddy is back at work all day every day, and it's just me and you growing and learning together. There is nothing I love more in life than the way you stare into my eyes longingly, and the closeness we feel for each other unlike anything I've ever imagined. You're happiest in my arms, and although it can be exhausting I love being the one to console and comfort you.
You've only been in this world for 2 weeks, but it feels like a lifetime. I can't imagine life without you. You are developing more and more of a personality every day, and you remind me so much of your daddy. From those dimples to the silly faces you make, especially when you're grumpy, you're definitely your daddy's son.
Most days you are a smiley, happy baby throughout the day, always easily consoled and only crying when you're hungry, but at 10:30pm every night you become colicky and mad at the world. It has been quite the challenge. Your daddy and I were both difficult babies, so unfortunately we're not surprised. Most nights you stay wide awake screaming until 6am, despite every effort on our parts. It kills me to hear you screaming in pain the way you do. We've been trying a lot of new things like bottle-feeding (with breastmilk only!), gripe water, and some serious swaddling, and I think we're finally making progress. Your belly still seems to hurt, but you're sleeping more and more every night. We also bought you a magical musical sheep, and you're madly in love. You watch it with wide eyes until drifting off to your dreams. It has been a lifesaver. You aren't a big fan of the paci, and you are definitely a boob man. Nothing comforts you more. It takes a lot of convincing for you to try the bottle for feedings, and you still look at me as if it's some sort of trick. All I want is to make you happy and trusting of the world you're in, and I will continue to try everything I can to make life better for you.
I'm constantly torn between wanting life to stand still, to keep you my tiny little newborn forever, and looking forward to watching you grow into a little man. My life has taken on a whole new meaning since the day you were born, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even when you've been screaming for hours and I haven't slept in days, there's no where else I'd rather be. One look into your eyes makes my heart melt. I never knew I could be this happy in life.

love always,

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