let the freaking out begin.

10:47:00 AM Unknown 0 Comments

I think it has finally hit me, and I'm starting to freak out... I only have 18 more days with Nick before he leaves.  Of course I will get to see him for 5 days over Christmas before he is officially gone for 12 months, but I know those days are going to fly by.  No amount of time is long enough with your best friend.  We will be on our way to NC for Thanksgiving next week and will be spending Christmas in NC as well.  I'm so excited to spend the holidays with our families this year, but I can't help thinking that the little time I have with my husband has to be shared with too many other people.  It's important for him to have good quality time with his family before he goes overseas, but it doesn't leave much quality time for the two of us.

While Nick was in basic training at Fort Benning, we began counting down the number of Sundays until we would see each other.  It was a much more optimistic way of looking at things, because the number of Sundays left always sounds much better than the number of days left.  Unfortunately this is how I count everything down now... and I only have 2 Sundays left until he leaves.  On a good note, our last Sunday together will be spent on our drive back from NC.  We are notorious for having our best conversations on long car rides because we never turn on the radio- not even on our 14 hour drives to and from Sarasota.  As graduation nears I have more and more free time, so hopefully we will be able to spend every minute together during the last few days that he is in Nashville.

As hard as this is going to be on me, I can't help but remember that this is a million times worse for Nick.  I am losing one person for 12 months, but he is losing a lot more.

I think too much

11:19:00 AM Unknown 0 Comments

I'm back! A lot sooner than I thought... I've had a lot on my mind lately.  As graduation creeps closer and closer (32 days!), I'm beginning to wonder if I'm focusing too much on nursing.  I'm finishing my applications to begin grad school next year, but there are so many other things I want to accomplish in life.  Getting my doctorate has always been near the top of my lifelong goals, but I also want to focus on my painting and art, writing a book, starting a family, and spending time on the things in life that matter the most.  I don't want to lose anything, I'm just having a hard time figuring out how to prioritize everything.  I know once I start grad school all of my time and energy will be concentrated on nursing, and it scares me to think that so soon after the madness of the last 16 months I will have to give up everything else I love in life once again.  Maybe I'm being dramatic... I really hope so.  School has always been my first priority (sometimes even above my husband... sorry baby), so in a way I don't feel like I have a choice but to make the next step in my education.  I really don't want to put it off, I just want to do everything now.  I don't want to put anything off, but that's the reality of life.  I know it will still be at least a couple more years before we begin adding little Armstrongs to the mix, since Nick will be leaving in 3 weeks and will gone all of next year.

Okay... I feel better now.  It's amazing what writing can do for me.  As always, once the words are written I realize that I'm anxious and stressed about nothing, and everything will work out the way it's supposed to do.  If I'm meant to start grad school next fall, I should have an acceptance letter from an amazing nursing school in the next few months.  And if not, then I will take that as the sign to focus on my art.

Don't forget to check out alittlesunshine.tumblr.com... it's probably more entertaining than the ramblings I leave here!

I'm a quitter.

9:49:00 AM Unknown 0 Comments

I'm notorious for starting things and not finishing them... not big things in life, just little things (i.e. books, painting, blogs, etc.).  I get bored easily, and I love new things.  This translates into my temporary abandonment of this blog and my new little bloglet- alittlesunshine.tumblr.com.  For now, while I'm feeling too lazy to commit to full postings on this blog, you can read my short daily thoughts on tumblr.  I'm sure I'll come back here one day... just give me a week or so to get bored with the new one :)

it's finally fall!

5:03:00 PM Unknown 0 Comments

After weeks of cold, unpredictable, rainy weather, we've finally had a few days of beautiful fall weather with gorgeous skies and perfect temperatures.  I've loved every minute of it, even if most of the time I've been trapped in the hospital or inside studying.  I even went for a run around the lake today and enjoyed it.  I don't think I've ever said I've enjoyed running, but I really did.  The lake was gorgeous!  It was the first time I've done anything active since I quit smoking, and my lungs felt great.  I was so proud of myself.  My plan is to run everyday this week, so we'll see how that goes.  I usually only stick with things for a few weeks before getting bored.  I could really use the exercise, because it's that wonderful time of the year when my body likes to store fat like I'm going into hibernation.  I don't understand it.  Wish me luck!