now I wait

4:17:00 PM Unknown 0 Comments

Once again, Nick is gone... it isn't the first time, and unfortunately it won't be the last.  He will be in Mississippi for the next 3 weeks for annual training, or as I like to call it "playing Cowboys and Indians".  He left bright and early this morning on a fancy charter bus complete with satellite television.  If I've learned one thing during the past year, it's not to feel too sorry for the troops and their rough conditions.  Of course deployment is a different story, but during drill weekends and training they're usually living pretty nice and not working too hard.  I mean, really, what boy doesn't dream of spending his time shooting guns and simulating war?  It's all little boys do growing up.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge supporter of our troops and I'm more than happy knowing they're given nice accommodations and allowed to have a little fun when they're able to.  After all, 12 months away from family and friends in the desert isn't my ideal vacation.  They actually deserve more than they're given... they sacrifice their lives and defend our country, all in a day's work.  And while we sit around and complain about not enough paid holidays or having to work a little late one night, you'll never hear a soldier complain about his job.  They're proud of what they do, and they should be.

It's only been a few hours since Nick left, and already I miss him so much.  If there's one thing I can thank the Army for, it's allowing me to never take my husband for granted.  I spend too much time missing him and waiting for him to come home to not appreciate him when he's here.  Sometimes all I feel like I do is wait... wait for him to come home, wait for the next assignment, wait for the next phone call.  But it's all worth it... Nick is living his dream and reaching his goals, and I couldn't be more proud of him.  Not to mention he looks pretty good in uniform.

tick tock

11:50:00 AM Unknown 1 Comments

I'm not a crier.  We all have our moments (especially around a certain time of the month), but I rarely cry.  I can hear tragic stories, watch heart-wrenching love stories, and witness the suffering and death of patients in the hospital, and although I'm sad I just don't cry.  Call me cold-hearted, uncaring, whatever... but it's just how it is.  I know deep down I'm a very compassionate person (and nurse!), but it doesn't usually show on the outside.

Recently, however, I've found that there is one thing that is guaranteed to bring tears to my eyes every time... the birth of a newborn.  During my OB rotation this summer I observed anywhere from 2-5 deliveries in each 12-hour shift, and each time my eyes got just a little watery.  I even found myself crying while watching TLC's "A Baby Story" yesterday.  I don't know exactly what it is, but it gets me every time.  I think it's a combination of the sheer joy and pride on the parent's faces the first time they see their baby, the overall exhilaration of the moment, and my own biological clock ticking louder and louder.  I can only imagine what I'll be like during the birth of my own children... if you plan on being there you might want to wear a raincoat.

oh happy day!

9:39:00 AM Unknown 0 Comments

change happens

5:09:00 PM Unknown 0 Comments

So I'm officially a married woman these days.  So many things seem to be changing, but at the same time everything seems to be staying the same. Nick has been my best friend for the past six years, and we have lived together for so long that marriage seems to be nothing more than a sheet of paper. Not that I don't absolutely love that he is finally my husband, but my daily life didn't drastically change when we got married. At the same time I'm only 3 months away from graduating from nursing school, and hopefully less than a year away from becoming a mother. Talk about life changing. I'm anxious, I'm excited, I'm scared... but most of all I'm ready. The most important moments of my life seem to be happening all at once, and I love it. The best part is I don't have to do any of it alone... I have the most amazing husband that supports me through everything, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

One thing I'm not looking forward to in the coming months- Nick's deployment to Iraq. This will be his first tour, and my first big challenge as an Army wife. He'll be leaving December 5 for three months of training in Mississippi, and then will be on his way to the Middle East for a 12-month deployment. It won't be easy, but I know we can do it because we have to. I'm living proof that you can find a way to make it through anything if you have to. Looking at the big picture a year is only a very small portion of our lives together, but those 12 months are going to feel like an eternity. When he leaves I will be a 26 year old student and military wife, only responsible for myself, and when he returns I will be a 27 year old registered nurse and the mother of his child (if everything goes as planned- cross your fingers!). It's never easy to see him go, but I'm comforted knowing how proud I am of the brave man that he is, and what he is willing to do for our family and our country. I'm truly blessed, and I know it. Life will go on, and it will only get better from here.

With all of the new experiences and changes in my life right now, it seemed appropriate to begin writing about them. We often take for granted the little things in life that make us who we are, and I want to take the time to reflect upon my journey before I get lost in the chaos of life.