life really is good.
I haven't been feeling particularly bad lately, but I also haven't been in the greatest mood either... I've just been living life day by day. Not everyone is born with a sunny, glass-is-half-full kind of personality, and some of us need to be reminded of the good things in life to keep a smile on our faces. And that's okay.I've really embraced my new running lifestyle, and although I don't look forward to running every day I can honestly say I enjoy the change. I run at least 6 days every week... I still can't believe I can truthfully write that. I really am a runner now, just not quite the distance runner I was hoping to be after a month and a half into my plan. I'm still only running 2-3 miles, which is a long way from the 13.1 miles I'll be running at the Women's Half Marathon in September. But I haven't given up, and that means more than any numbers that could ever measure my progress. I just began running indoors this week, because I couldn't stand the 90 degree temps at 8 in the morning. There are both good and bad to this: I HATE running on a treadmill (I definitely thought it would be easier, and was sadly disappointed), but I love adding an extra hour of weight training every day after my run. It's the perfect combination.
I've also started eating a lot healthier. I didn't eat terrible before, but my diet now is almost entirely made up of fresh fruits and vegetables mixed in with a little hummus and turkey or chicken salad. These are my favorite foods anyway (except for Mexican... that will always be an occasional necessity), but I've stopped being lazy and grabbing the more convenient snacks and meals lying around. I've also started grocery shopping immediately after my workouts (I know my fellow shoppers at Publix appreciate this), which makes it almost impossible to buy anything unhealthy. I entirely skip the middle section of the store, and only shop the perimeter. If I don't see it and know it exists, I can't want it. Simple as that.
What else? Oh yeah, the end is near. Since I can't share anything without risking OPSEC, I'll just direct you to this link: TN National Guard Troops Return From Iraq Early. I'll leave it at that.
No, actually I won't. Can you imagine the most annoying cheerleader in the world jumping up and down and screaming in your face? That's going on inside of me right now. You'd probably never know it, especially since I'm not really allowed to share my excitement with the world, but I'm doing it now. When I read that article on my way home today (I don't usually play with my phone while driving but I was stuck in standstill rush-hour traffic, just for the record), I literally teared up when I saw the picture of the women hugging her husband. I can't wait for that day to get here, but I also never want that moment to end because I know it will be magical. And completely unforgettable. We're so close to everything I've been dreaming about for the last 7 months, and it feels incredible.
I'm also a lot more appreciative of my job today than I have been in weeks. A good friend of mine needed help with bookkeeping/accounting/tax stuff, and I took the job to add a little extra to our vacation fund and help a friend out. And do you know what I learned in two 8-hour days working my new second job? I do not miss working in an office all day, every day. Not. At. All. I hate staring at a computer screen and having my butt glued to a chair for 8 hours a day. I would much rather be running around like a mad woman/drug dealer/waitress (aka RN) for 12 hrs any day of the week. It's just not for me. Patients and families often tell me they could never work a 12-hr shift, but I promise 12 hrs as a bedside nurse is a lot shorter than 8 hrs at a desk. I've lived both lives, and I hope I never find myself back in an office full-time.
One more thing... I don't know if it was writing about it, or my more positive outlook today, or maybe a combination of both, but I didn't have the wedding obsession today that I usually experience. I actually spent a while pre-planning a friend's wedding on the phone, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I still dreamed about having the wedding we were talking about, but without the regret and anxiety I normally feel. All weddings are beautiful, and magical, and memorable (okay, maybe not all weddings). I was able to focus on the good pictures and memories, and never once stressed about anything I would have done differently. I may not get the chance to do my wedding again, but I will be able to celebrate anniversaries, and baby showers, and kids' birthday parties, and all of the other many celebrations in life. Besides my parents (and probably only because they footed the bill), who even remembers my wedding a year later? It really doesn't matter. I'm married to the man that I love and will spend the rest of my life with, and I'm happy. Even on bad, depressing days, the thought of Nick and what we share can keep me smiling for hours.
The thoughts keep pouring in, but I'll try to keep this from becoming a novel. I'm happy, looking on the bright side of life, and that's all that matters. Now if only this mentality would stay while I work the next 6 out of 7 nights...
