I have officially made it to 39 weeks (these pictures were taken at 38 weeks), and I can't say that I'm thrilled about it. After working long hours on my feet for so long I was sure I would deliver early, and as each day goes by it becomes less and less likely.
I am filled with so many emotions right now, but mostly excitement and anxiety about what is to come. For a type A, obsessive-compulsive planner, there is nothing worse than having no idea and no control over when and how labor will begin. I'm so anxious to get it over with, and nervous that I will not end up with the birth experience I'm hoping for. I am also terrified of having to be induced, but as of now that is still another 3 weeks away. I am also obviously so excited for Logan to be here... I can spend hours imagining holding him in my arms and kissing the sweet little face of his daddy.
So much of our lives is about to change, and I am overwhelmed with impatience for what is to come. The clock seems to move a little slower each day, and at times it feels like the world stops for hours. I fluctuate between feeling like there is nothing more I can do to prepare for Logan's arrival, to feeling like I am no where near being ready for him to come home. So I clean a little more, reorganize one more time, and continue waiting, and waiting... and waiting.
I try so hard to cherish the time we have left, just Logan and I, with him snuggled in the comfort of my belly and no cares or worries in the world. He is truly a miracle, and despite my impatience and discomfort I can't imagine a greater feeling in the world.
38 weeks pregnant, last Spa day with the girls, and 1st snowfall of the year. A perfect week to welcome our new little one to the world, but unfortunately he had other plans.
The week started with a beautiful dusting of snow while I hurried around the house nesting for our little one, and ended with a much needed spa day with my favorite girls from work. We treated ourselves to manispedis, shopped at Nordstrom, and enjoyed good conversation away from the stress of 4 North.
After working on my feet for so long I really thought Logan might be ready to join us this week, but all of the walking in the world didn't get him out. He's stubborn like his daddy :)
The last few weeks with Logan have been nothing short of incredible. I wish more than anything I could stop time for just a little while, just long enough to cherish every moment we have together before I am forced to share him with the world. Recently I find myself constantly distracted by him, unable to focus on anything other than every movement and feeling of him safe inside of me. He is a part of me now, a part of me that I will never let go of for as long as I live. We are bonded in a way I have never felt before, and my love for him is truly amazing and life changing.
Nick and I treated ourselves to another elective 3D ultrasound yesterday to sneak a peek at our handsome little bundle. Of course he was stubborn and refused to move his hands from his face more than a few seconds at a time, but watching him move around in live time was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He slept through most of it, but was sure to show off a little thumb sucking and yawning before we left. He is absolutely adorable (but I'm a little bias). We're still arguing over whose nose he has... I guess time will tell. Here are a few of my favorite pictures:
I also had another prenatal appointment this week, and all is well so far! Both Logan and I are happy and healthy. All of my blood work looks great, which was my biggest concern so far.
We will be traveling back home to NC for Thanksgiving in a few short days, and I couldn't be more excited. Our days will be busy with the people that we love most, stuffing our faces and celebrating my favorite of all holidays. We will return just in time for my 28th birthday... my golden year! No big plans this year, but I always enjoy a day to relax and celebrate. This time of year always flies by, which scares me a little knowing that Logan will be here as soon as the chaos of the holidays is over. I can't wait to meet our little miracle, but I'll also feel a little better about it once we have the nursery complete and everything around the house ready for his arrival.
Safe and happy travels to all! Happy Thanksgiving!
Since my first days of L&D classes in nursing school, I have vowed to steer clear of Pitocin and have the most natural childbirth I was capable of. I had heard nothing but great reviews of Ricki Lake’s documentary, The Business of Being Born, and fully planned on watching it before the birth of this child.
The other night I began discussing with my husband that I was thinking of switching from our awesome OB whom we love to a midwife to ensure my wishes were met during labor, and he responded by jokingly referring to midwives and their “voodoo”. I couldn’t move fast enough to find the documentary on Amazon, hook up the laptop to the tv, and begin an educational experience for myself and my husband. It was obviously time.
The documentary was AMAZING. I was familiar with most of the medical reasoning and facts in the film thanks to nursing school only a few short years ago, but it was still reassuring to know that I was making the right decisions for the right reasons. The film also managed to ease some of my fears about childbirth.
Birth plans are personal, and I strongly believe that every woman should make the decisions that are best for them. Having said that I also find it hard to believe that any woman could watch this film with an open mind and not walk away convinced to at least try for a natural birth. I’m not saying that natural childbirth is for everyone or the only way birth should ever be done, I just believe that this documentary is that convincing. I highly recommend it to all pregnant women, and all women that desire to have children one day. You will learn SO. MUCH. I even recommended it to my mom to watch so that she could better understand why I feel the way I do. In fact, I wish everyone would watch this movie so that I don’t get the looks I do when the subject gets brought up and I mention that I’m hoping for a natural childbirth.
I could go on for hours, but please just watch this movie! I promise you won’t regret it. I support any decision a mother makes for her own child, I just strongly believe that every pregnant women should at least make the effort to be informed and educated before making any decisions. Let me know what you think!
I had the most amazing dream last night (and yes, it has me wide awake at 5:30 in the morning). In my dream I was only 2 days away from the due date of our beautiful baby girl (once again, always a girl in the dreams!). I was freaking out a little in the dream about labor and what was to come, but I was so excited and ready. Our nursery was complete (in the most amazing house) and everything was in place for our little one to come home.
Imagine my disappointment to wake up and find out that not only am I not 2 days away from my due date…. I still have 6 MONTHS to go!!! Sometimes it seems like 6 months isn’t nearly long enough to buy everything we need and get everything ready, but when I picture holding our little one and how our lives will change, 6 months feels like an eternity. For all of you mommas-to-be out there, I’m sure you know exactly how I feel.
I don’t want to wish this pregnancy away because I really love being pregnant, I just wish I could have the best of both worlds. Here’s to hoping the next 6 months fly by!
(Just found this in my drafts…. feels like it was just yesterday!)
The past 24 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions. It all began Sunday evening when for a brief second I wondered when my period was due this month, and I guess also had the first intuition that I was pregnant. The thought only crossed my mind for a moment… long enough to use the handy menstrual cycle app on my phone and learn that my period was due tomorrow (Monday). Nick and I had stopped “trying” for months, and I had accepted that children were not in the plan for our immediate future. I had accepted this, and I was happy with it.
I guess my intuition remained somewhere subconsciously, because when I woke up Monday morning I decided to use one of my left-over pregnancy tests from our years of trying and failing. While I watched the test come to life, I began to rub my eyes frantically while I watched two lines appear. Was I half asleep? Were my eyes playing tricks on me? I had taken dozens of pregnancy tests in my time (okay, maybe hundreds), and I knew what a negative HPT looked like. And this was not one.
I dipped another test, and another, and before I knew it I was faced with three positive tests in a row. I don’t know how long I stood there speechless, before beginning to pace around my house chanting “oh my god… oh my god… oh my god…” (with a little profanity mixed in). My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, and I spent the next 3 hours in a state of complete shock.
Nick was working until midnight that day, and I knew there was absolutely no way I could wait that long before telling him. I jumped in the car and called him on my way, only to find out that he wouldn’t be back at the office for another hour. Great. So I took a detour to Target and walked around in a daze trying to let it all sink in. Just before leaving I started having second thoughts about telling Nick. What if I imagined it all? What if I didn’t look at the tests long enough? I didn’t want to tell him unless I was 100% sure. So I bought two digital tests, stopped at a gas station before I got on the highway, and almost immediately I had the word “pregnant” staring me in the face. Hard to argue with such a definitive sign.
Once I got to Nick’s work (to meet for lunch, or so he thought) it took about 30 seconds of him in the car with me before I blurted out the big news. The look on his face was priceless. I would have loved to video tape his reaction, but unfortunately didn’t think of that until 2 days later. He continued to ask me the usual How? Are you sure? with a HUGE smile on his face. It was the most genuine happiness and excitement I’ve ever seen on my husband’s face.
This marked the beginning of our journey, the beginning of our miracle, and the moment that changed our lives forever. There will be plenty more to come!
A couple of weeks ago, I found myself lying awake late at night browsing online. As usual this led to an impulse buy. I had just visited my OB for my 12 week appt and heard the sweetest sound of our little one’s heartbeat. Unfortunately Nick was away for training in Mississippi, and I couldn’t help but think of how much he was missing out on during those few moments listening to the heartbeat… our heartbeat. So I began researching fetal dopplers online, and quickly stumbled upon the Sonoline B Fetal Heart Doppler on Ebay.
Fetal dopplers can be outrageously priced. I could never imagine spending hundreds of dollars on one, but when I found the Sonoline B for a reasonable $53 brand new I was sold. Having found such a good deal, I was a little nervous about the quality of the doppler. I knew from browsing in stores that many dopplers are only recommended late during the 2nd trimester and beyond, and I was barely 12 weeks. When it arrived just a few days later, I was nothing but pleasantly surprised.
The Sonoline B worked fantastic. I instantly found our little one’s heartbeat in the comfort and privacy of our bedroom, and I had no trouble distinguishing between my own and the baby’s heartbeats. The doppler also has a digital screen to display the heartrate and average heartrate every 8 beats heard.
As soon as The Husband returned home I shared my surprise with him… that moment was magical. Nothing compares to sitting together in the peace and serenity of our home with nothing more that a faint swoosh bringing us together. Now when I find myself feeling down or frustrated with our situation, I take myself upstairs to remind me that this will all be so worth it. Our little miracle baby is growing strong and healthy inside of me, and nothing in life could be better than that.
***I should mention that I was in no way sponsored or compensated by Sonoline B or Clinical Guard. I simply loved the doppler that much that I felt it deserved a post of its own! I also want to praise the ebay seller clinicalguardga for offering such a great product and having it at my door 2 days later!
