my first Mother's Day

11:46:00 AM Unknown 1 Comments

One year ago today, I was relaxing in a lounge chair with a beer in my hand, the sun beating down on my arms, and the Thunderbirds flying over my head. We were at the air show in Smyrna, enjoying the day as a distraction from Mother's Day and our infertility struggles. I was armed with a positive spirit, a new camera lens, and a supportive husband at my side. It was nothing short of a perfect day.

Little did I know, that was actually my first Mother's Day. I likely conceived Logan less than a week before according to my due date. I had absolutely no symptoms, and at this point didn't believe we would ever have children naturally without medical intervention. But I wonder now if that little fertilized egg didn't have something to do with my positive attitude that day, and the lack of crying my eyes out on Mother's Day for the first time in 3 years (I'm sure the sun, beer, and planes helped too).

I would have never imagined that a year later I would be waking up to a bouquet of flowers, a beautifully written card from my husband, and my entire heart made into the most precious little miracle in my arms. It is more that I ever thought it could be. I've wanted children for as long as I can remember, but I really had no idea the way it would transform me and the way I look at the world. I could have never predicted the overwhelming love I have for that little boy, and the admiration I would have for my husband as his father. I never knew life could be so perfect and so full of happiness and love. It is absolutely magical.

My heart is heavy for those still waiting for their little miracles. Some have struggled for so much longer than I did, and I can't imagine continuing to face the world with such a brave face on such a heart-wrenching day. I've also been thinking a lot about all of the single parents in this world, and the lack of appreciation they likely feel on this day. I am truly blessed for all that I have, and I'm reminded more today to be thankful for what life has given me.

The last 3 months have also taught me just how little I understood about the sacrifices my own mother made for her family, and the love she has for us. I can appreciate all she has done so much more now. She is compassionate, self-sacrificing, and supportive. There has never been a day I questioned her love for me. She has always been there for every tear and every celebration. I share every detail of my life with her, and she still answers my phone calls every day. She's given up everything for me and my sister, and now my nieces. I will never be able to thank her enough. She is truly amazing.

I wish my Granny was still here, so that she could spend one more day knowing how much she is loved and appreciated. I can't imagine what it must be like for my mom or her siblings on this day. She was an incredible woman, and I only wish we could have had more time to get to know one another and become closer than we ever were.

To all of the mothers, single parents, grandmothers, and anyone else that has loved a child with all of their heart, Happy Mother's Day. Motherhood is the single most wonderful gift I have ever received in life. I'm never been more proud or grateful for all that I have.