learning to live alone
It's only been 3 days since Nick left, but I'm already realizing how different my life will be for the next 4 months. The house is much quieter, and I'm remembering how much more work is involved in running a house all alone. I feel abandoned, anxious, depressed, and lonely, but I am also so proud of what he is doing right now. Serving his country is a dream he's had for a long time, and I know that this experience will make him a better person. For the first time he is doing something that he can truly be proud of, and something that will benefit our family for the rest of our lives. As difficult as this separation is I know that it will only make our relationship stronger and will bring us closer in the end. For now I am learning to live without my best friend by my side, and I am trying to stay strong for both of us. I can only imagine the emotions that he must be feeling right now as he begins this journey. I have been hesitant to write my first letter to him, because I am afraid to admit that I am not coping well and cannot stay focused on the life I must continue to live without him. He needs to hear that everything is okay and that I will make it without him, but I have never lied to him before and can't imagine starting now. I will give it a few more days, and will hopefully be able to write the positive letter that he needs most right now.
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