working mama: back home

11:34:00 AM Unknown 0 Comments

Nick has spent the last week in Mississippi for annual training with the TNARNG, which means I have spent the last week at home with my little man. I have loved every second of it. I've savored every snuggle, stolen a few a thousand extra kisses, and lived my life the way I always dreamed it would be.

If the last 6 months have taught me anything, it's that I will never get used to being away from my little love. He truly is the light of my life, and brings so much joy to each day. Leaving him at home while I go off to work will never get easier. I can never get enough smiles or giggles from that little boy.

I know many moms struggle with the same challenges that I do, but I don't have to like it. The realization that this week is coming to an end brings tears to my eyes. The past few days have been nothing short of amazing.

I'm terrified that when I return to work tomorrow, my relationship with little man will change. We will always share a special bond as mother and son, but it isn't the same when I'm out of the house most nights of the week (and sleeping my days away). It hasn't been the same since I went back to work full-time. I love being his comfort and security, and I don't want to hand the reigns back to Nick (even though he truly does an amazing job). It hurts to know I can't be the constant in his life that I want to be.

For now I will rock him a little longer, hug him a little tighter, and make every moment we have together special. And when Daddy returns home next week, I will do everything I can to keep him a Mama's boy.