all on my own
I miss Nick like crazy, but having him gone is definitely a blessing in disguise. I may not have thought that a few years ago, but when he's gone I realize how independent and strong I can be on my own. I'm also glad I chose to stay in Nashville during the deployment. The comfort and support of family members is wonderful, but learning that you can survive anything on your own is invaluable.Prior to this past year of military life, Nick and I had only been apart once. It was the first time I was truly independent, and I learned so much about myself. Of course some days are hard, but other days you can hold your head up high knowing that you're making a life for yourself all on your own. It sucks when the water heater breaks, or your house becomes infested with termites, or you're forced to move all of your belongings to a new place... but nothing compares to the joy of finding a solution and resolving the problem without the help of anyone else.
The year ahead is going to be a long and difficult one, but I know I will come out of it a stronger and better person. I know I can do it. I refuse to waste my days sitting around mourning our separation, or crying myself to sleep at night because he's not laying next to me. He is always in my heart and I know he will always come back to me. Even when I forget, he's always there to remind me just when I need it the most. I will miss him every minute of every day, but I feel fortunate that I have such a wonderful person to miss. He is my heart and my soul, and no matter where I am he's right there with me. The deployments may be long and I'm sure we have many more in our future, but we have a lifetime together. Our life together is just beginning. There will be so many great moments in our future together, and I can't wait to enjoy each and every one of them.
For now I will miss him with a smile on my face.
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