home sweet home

9:17:00 PM Unknown 0 Comments

After only 3 days since leaving NC, I feel lost. It’s feels good to be back into a productive routine where (most) everything I do has meaning, but everything just seems a little off. Like I don’t belong here. My heart is and always will be where our families are, and for now that’s NC.

I long for the day that I can drive to my parent’s house to chat with my mom, because face-to-face conversations are always better than over the phone. I live to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon painting with Nick’s grandfather after a filling lunch of all things Cuban. I dream of riding horses with my mother-in-law, and dropping by my lifelong best friend’s house just to say hello. I yearn to spend the day alone with my Dad, because I have and always will be my daddy’s girl. I wish for the day that Nick can spend time getting to know his brothers again as life changes and ages us all. I hope for the day when we never have to miss a birthday party, or graduation, or the birth of a new family member.

We always say that one day we’ll move back to be closer to family, but my biggest fear in life is that it will never work out. There’s always something keeping us in Nashville… and although I am madly in love with this city, it will never be home.

I never thought that we would find ourselves alone, where visits with family are few and far between. I never thought there would be Thanksgivings and Christmases with just Nick and myself. And I never thought I could miss my hometown as much as I do now.

Maybe we’ll make it back one day, maybe we won’t. But my heart will always remain in the city that raised me, surrounded by the people in life that I love the most. I’ll never lose hope of raising our children surrounded by those we love, and I’ll never stop dreaming of a life back in NC.